By: Angelica Cheyenne and Patricia Franklin
Staff Writer
Disclaimer: Please remember that the staff at The Bulletin are NOT Sex Experts and ARE NOT Sexual Therapist, Psychologists, or anyone who is educated in that field. We offer researched responses and educated opinions regarding the topic of sex from the perspective of a peer. If you have advanced questions that require an expert’s opinion, please visit the Women’s Resource Center in the Small College Complex room 148. However, if you want to solicit advice, email us at [email protected]
Most couples in monogamous relationships are torn between staying abstinent before marriage, for religious reasons, or saying the hell with it and having sex. Deciding to be abstinent or celibate is hard, especially when a couple eventually moves in together; fighting off temptation can be harder than hiding a boner.
According to a 2012 article [www.waitinguntilmarriage.org] titled “4 Cool statistics about abstinence in the USA,” about 3 percent of Americans wait to have sex, 20 percent of highly religious people wait until marriage, 60 percent of women can wait and 40 percent of men can hold out.
Nowadays it isn’t uncommon or taboo for people to have sex before marriage. In all reality, most of our parents had us out of wedlock. More couples are moving in together and experimenting before marriage rather than traditionally waiting until after the honeymoon.
“My husband and I were dating a little over six months before we moved in together,” said P.T. “I got pregnant while we were dating and he wanted to ensure that he was there throughout the entire pregnancy. Although, we did not get married until our daughter was born, moving in together was the best route for us. Now we are happily married and stable in our relationship.”
That doesn’t mean that every situation will wind up as a fairytale love story that is complete with marriage and a baby. But even if that doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean the relationship won’t survive, or that people will go to hell.
Society paints this illusion that sex before marriage can tarnish a relationship or cause confusion. But people often forget this one reality: not everyone is a saint. According to a 2006 article “Premarital sex is nearly universal among Americans, and has been for decades” by the Guttmacher Institute, a study showed by age 44, 99 percent of respondents had had sex and 95 percent had done so before marriage.
Religion can play a large role in why a lot of people are abstinent before marriage. Many are raised to think that premarital sex is a sin and if one doesn’t abide by the biblical rules they are shunned for their discretion.
Another reason people stay abstinent before marriage is fear of divorce. According to the article (www.focusonthefamily.com) titled “Premarital sex and greater risk of divorce” by Glenn Stanton, data from the National Survey of Family Growth showed “women who are sexually active prior to marriage faced considerably higher risk of marital disruption than women who were virgin brides.”
“I had various sexual partners before I got married,” said L.M. “When my wife and I were dating we were very open to our past. The only problem was my wife was a sex addict and I couldn’t satisfy her sexual hunger like she wanted. That was understandable until I caught her having sex with my cousin in our bed. Now I am happily divorced.”
Whether you are sexually active before marriage or waiting for your dream babe, there is no judgment here. Do whatever your heart desires with whoever makes you happy. The ring, dream wedding and baby will all come into place. Live, laugh and love to the fullest.
