By: Angelica Cheyenne and Patricia Franklin
Staff Writers
Disclaimer: Please remember that the staff at The Bulletin are NOT Sex Experts and ARE NOT Sexual Therapist, Psychologists, or anyone who is educated in that field. We offer researched responses and educated opinions regarding the topic of sex from the perspective of a peer. If you have advanced questions that require an experts opinion, please visit the Women’s Resource Center in the Small College Complex room 148. However, if you want to solicit advice, email us at [email protected].
When two people are making love, sometimes passionate words may come about. Not all of those words spoken are to amuse or stroke the male/female ego. They are sometimes lies told to either finish quicker or to get away with answering a certain question.
According to the article (www.theconversation.com) titled “Why men and women lie about sex, and how this complicates STD control” by Shervin Assari, both men and women are guilty when reporting their number of sex partners. The biggest issue about not being honest about the number of sex partners is STDs. According to Assari, more than 10 percent of young adults who had confirmed positive for an STD claimed they had abstained from sexual intercourse in the last year and only 22 percent of them reported same-sex activity when asked for the second time.
“I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was 16 years old,” said P.K. “We were high school sweethearts and decided to lose the most sacred thing together. He made me as comfortable as possible when we had sex. We spoke about getting married and having children together. That all changed when I found out I had chlamydia and he lied to me about his sexual partners.”
Being lied to can sting especially when you share something so sacred with a person. People aren’t always honest about their sexual partners due to fear of being judged or just intentionally not caring for the other person’s feelings.
Sometimes, we even lie about what we are good at, in order to impress out partner.
“I was banging this hot babe and she thought I was the ultimate goodie two shoes,” said T.M. “She was an amazing kisser but her fellatio sucked. Every time we got to that point I would lie and tell her I didn’t shave or my balls were sore from practice. One time she insisted on going down on me and I got bit up real bad.”
Women aren’t the only liars in the bedroom. Men lie too. According to a 2013 article on the Huffington Post “Six totally crazy things guys will lie to you about in bed,” over 25.4 percent of men admitted to saying “I love you during sex,” 36 percent admitted to cheating on their partner, 6.25 percent said they’d “faked tears” during sex and 29.6 percent of men said “sex was a chore.”
Now don’t get the game twisted; not every person who is sexually active has been lied too or has had a bad experience. There are couples, and sexually active partners, who actually enjoy their intimacy together.
“I’ve had sex with a guy who made me scream hallelujah,” said K.P. “He wasn’t my type in bed and the first couple of times were awkward. But we had a chemistry beyond being intimate. I was patient with him and really honest before I knew it we were drunk in love.”
When people are honest during sex it saves lives, relationships, heartache and possibly a good time. There isn’t any harm in taking time out to say what doesn’t work for you during your intimacy. Practice with your partner, let them know what works and remember don’t say “I love you” during sex unless you really mean it.
