Graphic by Darlene Maes.
By Darlene Maes, Staff Reporter
Disclaimer: This diary is to give a voice to that “essential” worker dealing with daily idiots.
Dear Karen,
Since I choose not to take out my retail annoyance on anyone else, I decided to write down my anger. I wonder what it is like to wake up in your fancy home and get ready just to drop your kids off at their various extracurricular activities. Because I’m sure the most demanding thing you do throughout your whole day is getting your own Starbucks coffee to give you the energy to make your way to my job just to whine; to whine about how you decided to buy a patio cushion set DURING A HEALTH PANDEMIC and hate that it does not match your aesthetic. As you angrily make your point on why you are even here, I notice that your lipstick is smudged and you’re soaking wet. The fact that you look like a hollering clown because you’re excessively drinking coffee while talking is the only way I can even keep my focus on you.
After you made your point, I began my whole spiel on how our company cannot currently accept any type of returns as a safety measure for workers and other customers. I also mentioned that at a later date we can take any returns or exchanges with no issues. Rather than have the logic part of your brain kick in, your ignorance once again was the triumphant winner. “So what, you aren’t giving me my money back?! You are just going to steal my money like that?!” I assure you, miss “my problems are bigger than a worldwide health issue,” I do not want your money. Nor do I get paid nearly enough to hear your gripe on how life isn’t fair to you. Or how you would have been smarter to not buy something you weren’t sure about if you knew this information beforehand. I can bet my entire mediocre paycheck that if banners as big as the Las Vegas casino signs were posted around this place, you still wouldn’t have read them.
In my best customer service voice I apologize. Even though your reason for being so upset is outrageous and selfish, I apologized to you Karen. But instead you couldn’t care less and said you’re in a rush and demand the corporate number to let them know they are screwing their customers. As you stormed away pissed off with our company number in your hand you left me wondering. How long will you be out in public until someone tells you that you look like a wet rat who ran into a clear glass door?
